The Middle

A few months ago, I had a conversation with my partner. We had been planning something together via text (I don’t recall exactly what), and he said, “I’m sorry to put you in the middle of this.” I laughed and responded, “I’m born to be in the middle!” And I mean it.

I am the middle/middle/middle of nine children, and the photo above was taken the last time we were all together for my dad’s 80th birthday in 2022. As the middle child, I am also the middle girl among six brothers—three older and three younger. See? I was born to be in the middle!

There is a ton of research regarding birth order and the traits associated with one’s position among siblings, whether or not they have any. What I’ve read about middle children certainly reflects how I approach life, interact with others, and seek meaning. If I were to sum up that meaning, it would be connection.

My family functions like a bicycle wheel, with a center and spokes that maintain its strength and balance. Each of us has a designated role in the family, and mine, as you may have guessed, is at the center. I didn’t actively pursue this position; rather, it emerged from a blend of my traits and experiences that made it effective.